Everything You Missed From the NFL – Week 3

Week 3 has come and gone. Inanimate objects were assaulted, rookies stole the show, kicks were missed, and coaches were pissed.

Hit it Al Michaels:

 

The matchup that everybody was looking forward to didn’t quite live up to expectations. That, of course, was the rematch between Odell Beckham and Josh Norman. It did start off rather…..odd, however:

There weren’t a whole lot of fireworks on the field, with Odell ultimately having the better game (7-121-0 on 11 targets). As shown in the video below, OBJ made a couple great plays on Norman at the end of the game, which included a stiff-arm to the face and a one-handed catch behind his coverage. Norman undercut an OBJ route at the goal line but was unable to come up with the ball.

However, Odell Beckham Jr. found a new enemy out there, the kicking net:

This is a key matchup to keep an eye on in weeks to come. The net did come out with a statement regarding the incident:

Maybe a little less inanimate object rage and a little more production on the field next time.

Washington Redskins 29 @ New York Giants 27

The Wentz Wagon continued to roll in Philadelphia, as Carson Wentz went 23/31 for 301 yards and 2 TDs, good for a 125.9 rating. Wentz now has a completion percentage of 65 to go with 769 yards, 5 TDs, and ZERO interceptions. The 2nd pick of this year’s draft is showing some poise and maturity out there in only his 3rd career game.

The Eagles took a high powered Steeler offense and held them to 251 yards. While Antonio Brown recorded 140 receiving yards, his longest connection with Big Ben was only 20 yards, so a secondary that is widely regarded as a weak unit held the league’s premier receiver to a dozen short catches. With Ryan Mathews and Zach Ertz out for the Eagles, Carson Wentz kept the ball rolling with connections to Darren Sproles (6-128-1) and dark horse candidate Dorial Green-Beckham (3-33-0). Once DGB learns the whole playbook and gets on the field for the majority of the snaps, he, Jordan Matthews, Ertz, Sproles, and Nelson Agholor can become one of the more formidable pass catching crews in the league.

Hey, Philly fans, just take it easy man.

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Pittsburgh Steelers 3 @ Philadelphia Eagles 34

 

Loser: Matt Ryan’s Blocking Rating

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Devonta Freeman (14-152-0) and Tevin Coleman (12-42-3) showed the New Orleans Saints ‘Who Dat’ on Monday Night Football. In a game that the Atlanta Falcons scored 45 points, Julio Jones was held to 1 reception for 16 yards. I don’t think that has happened in the history of time, dating back to Julio’s Alabama days. With a two-headed monster in the run game, the Falcons may finally be two dimensional enough to hang in there with the rest of the high scoring NFC South. Just stay away from having Matt Ryan lead block for Devonta Freeman, and you guys might be alright. Also, maybe stop giving up 30 points a game.

Atlanta Falcons 45 @ New Orleans Saints 32

Loser: Veteran QBs

It was a tough week for a few guys that have been in the league for awhile. First, we had Ryan Fitzpatrick laying an absolute egg against the Kansas City Chiefs. Six interceptions. SIX!!!

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New York Jets 3 @ Kansas City Chiefs 24

Second, we had Carson Palmer coming into Buffalo as a 4 point favorite with a healthier threat in WR John Brown returning to take the majority of snaps. His end result:

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Arizona Cardinals 18 @ Buffalo Bills 33

Finally, we had Cam Newton home as a 7 point favorite against the Minnesota Vikings. Coming off a huge week in which he connected with Kelvin Benjamin for 2 TDs, he came in and completed 3 more passes to his Vikings opponents than he did to Kelvin.

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Minnesota Vikings 22 @ Carolina Panthers 10

Loser: Taylor Lewan

Down by a touchdown with a little over a minute left in the game, Titans QB Marcus Mariota hit rookie WR Tajae Sharpe for a 19 yard pass to get them down to the 3 yard line. As Sharpe fought to get another couple of yards, Tackle Taylor Lewan followed the play and ‘cleaned the pile.’ While this play didn’t result in any injuries and it looks like he actually hit his own guy, player safety has become a main priority in the NFL and Lewan was promptly penalized for unnecessary roughness. The 15 yard penalty was detrimental for the Titans, and they turned the ball over on downs to lose the game.

After the game, Kirk Herbstreit had some choice words for the Titans Tackle:

Oakland Raiders 17 @ Tennessee Titans 10

Winner: Terrelle Pryor (3-5 35 yards passing, 4-21-1 rushing, 6-144-0 receiving)

The Swiss Army Knife himself wound the clock back to 2010 and put on a show against the Miami Dolphins. With rookie QB Cody Kessler getting his first start, Terrelle Pryor came in as a change of pace guy as well as the go-to receiver (14 targets) in an incredible showcase of athleticism at the highest stage.

Not to brag buttttt I did say this two weeks ago:

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Despite Pryor going Greg Jennings and putting the team on his back, it was 3 missed field goals by newly signed Kicker Cody Parkey that let the win slip right through the Browns’ fingertips in overtime.

Jump for joy, Jarvis.

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Cleveland Browns 24 @ Miami Dolphins 30

Winner: Rookie QBs

Carson Wentz, who I talked about earlier, wasn’t the only successful rookie quarterback this week. We had two other rookies shine in nationally televised games. First was little known Patriots QB Jacoby Brissett on Thursday Night Football. Brissett brought a new dynamic to the Patriots play calling that hadn’t been seen possibly ever. He had numerous designed QB runs and ran a couple reads as well, which displayed his size, speed, and athleticism. For a 3rd string rookie QB with only 3 days to prepare, he did a damn good job.

Houston Texans 0 @ New England Patriots 27

The other rookie QB from the NFC East, Dak Prescott, had a pretty good showing on Sunday Night Football himself. He recorded both a passing and a rushing touchdown, and on the season he has 99 passes but a pick ain’t 1.

Chicago Bears 17 @ Dallas Cowboys 34

Meanwhile, 1st overall pick Jared Goff is out in public in his jersey to remind people who he is:

LA Rams 37 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers 32

 

Mossed:

Sauced:

 

 

That’s all for this week. Until next time, watch this video of Cole Beasley being hit into prehistoric times:

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Monday Morning Quarterback: Ryan Fitztragic

Ryan Fitzpatrick looked incompetent to say the very least. He threw a pass off of a lineman’s helmet, he threw two goal-to-go interceptions and has a weird infatuation with throwing it to unknown and unproven rookie Jalin Marshall in clutch situations. Not to mention the Chiefs dropped 2 interceptions on the Jets 3rd to last drive before Daniel Sorensen finally came down with one. Ryan Fitzpatrick threw SIX interceptions including three in less than three minutes of game time in the 4th quarter. I’ve never seen worse quarterback play and I had to watch Brooks Bollinger for a season.

Ryan Fitzpatrick did so poorly that his quarterback rating went up after his 6th interception, probably because he was able to throw the ball over 30 yards.

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He did throw a beautiful touchdown pass, however. Oh wait:

The quality of that video is a metaphor for the quality of that pass so I do not apologize.

Ryan Fitzpatrick underthrew a wide open Robby Anderson which resulted in a 26 yard diving catch instead of an easy 38 yard touchdown to make the game 17-7. I noticed last week against the Bills that Fitz was trying to throw it deep to Brandon Marshall, but instead was under throwing him and making it a jump ball. I wasn’t sure if it was their attempt at a Aaron Rodgers-Jordy Nelson back shoulder play or what, but now I think it’s painfully obvious that Ryan Fitzpatrick cannot physically throw the ball deep enough to be effective.

Which leads me to my warranted overreaction…….. Bench Ryan Fitzpatrick. Cut your $12 million dollar loss and play your guys that could possibly be your long term answer. The Jets have 3 able bodied quarterbacks with strong arms that can make any throw Ryan Fitzpatrick makes (and more). What the three other quarterbacks lack is experience. Instead of facing this same problem next year when Fitz is out the door, the Jets should give Geno Smith or Bryce Petty the keys to the car. My personal preference would be to see what Bryce Petty has to offer, as both Fitz and Geno’s contracts are set to expire this coming offseason. Bryce Petty ran a pass heavy spread offense at Baylor and has arguably the strongest arm out of all 4 QB’s (Hackenberg, maybe). The kid can sling the rock, and he can move on his feet as well. One thing I always credit Fitzpatrick for is how hard he runs and how he’ll take a hit for a couple extra yards. But wait, Petty does that too:

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Underthrowing a deep ball? Petty has never heard of it:

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Now, the Jets have a home game against the Seattle Seahawks next week. The Seahawks are 2-1 but may have lost QB Russell Wilson for the game¬†with a possible MCL sprain. Wilson’s absence makes this game¬†more winnable for the Jets, but the main problem for them will be the Seahawks’ secondary. Throwing Bryce Petty into the fire against a secondary that consists of Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, and Earl Thomas III is probably not the best confidence booster for a young QB, but I think that if Ryan Fitzpatrick shows even the slightest sign of repeating this week’s performance, he has to get the axe.

TL;DR – Start Fitzpatrick against the scary Seahawks secondary but keep him on a short leash, and have Bryce Petty ready to roll on deck. However, if the Jets announced Petty was starting at QB Week 4 I’d accept him with arms wide open.

 

The Chiefs couldn’t move the ball besides a couple good plays by Travis Kelce. All 24 points that the Chiefs scored came off of New York Jet turnovers. The difference in the game obviously was the turnover battle. You can’t turn the ball over eight times and expect to win or even compete in the game. Except the Jets¬†DID. The Jets were down by 14 and had the ball at the Chief 6 and 5 yard lines on consecutive possessions, only to have Fitzpatrick throw the ball into double and triple coverage and throw tip drill interceptions both times. The silver lining from this game is that even with atrocious quarterback play and ball security, the Jets could’ve actually squeaked out a victory against a good AFC playoff team.

On to the awards:

THE GOAT:

Quincy Enunwa: (4-37-0 receiving, 54 yard kick return)

Not a very impressive stat line, but nobody’s stat line was very impressive. However, you could tell just by watching the game that Quincy Enunwa was locked in while the majority of the team was checked out. He made a great catch in traffic in the 1st quarter, and he converted a key early 4th down conversion. On the Derrick Johnson pick-six, Enunwa and rookie Robby Anderson were the only two actually chasing him down the field. At 6’2″ 225lbs, he then returned a kick 54 yards in an attempt to revitalize the team. After Jalin Marshall’s inexcusable fumble, I look forward to seeing Enunwa return more kicks and seeing the ball in his hands as much as possible.

Honorable GOATS:

Rookie LBs Darron Lee (6 tackles, 0.5 sacks, 2 tackles for loss) and Jordan Jenkins (5 tackles)

3rd round pick Jordan Jenkins made his NFL debut, so for the first time we saw him and 1st round pick Darron Lee in together, giving the Jets a good glimpse of the future. The Jets historically have had older linebackers running the show, so it was encouraging to see their two young picks working together to hold the Chiefs offense to under 300 yards. Darron Lee recorded his first career (half) sack and showcased his phenomenal closing speed on a couple screens and outside runs. Jenkins finished numerous tackles that could’ve ended up as long gains.

Robby Anderson: (2-34-0)

Another pedestrian stat line but preseason favorite Robby Anderson caught both passes thrown to him today, the first two of his career. He was wide open for his first catch that should’ve went for 6, but instead he was underthrown and he adjusted well to make the 26 yard reception. Maybe Robby will be this year’s Quincy Enunwa or perhaps his preseason excellence will bring him to stardom a la Victor Cruz. You don’t know ’til you know, ya know?

The WOAT:

Ryan Fitzpatrick: (The worst showing of athleticism in a professional sporting event ever)

I’m not getting into it again. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he was pulling a Paul Crewe out there shaving some points it was that bad.

Dishonorable WOATs:

Jalin Marshall: (2-19-0, 3 kick returns for 82 yards, 1 lost fumble, 1 punt return for 12 yards)

Jalin “The Other” Marshall lost his 2nd fumble in as many weeks, this week resulting in a scoop and score that gave the Chiefs momentum that they never gave back. It was a funky play but ball security is the #1 priority for a kick returner. Marshall, being an UDFA in his rookie year, may not see the field for a couple weeks now, especially after blowing his second chance this week. One interesting tidbit: Jalin Marshall only returned 3 kickoffs in 2 years at Ohio State, is he really the most viable option at KR for the Jets?

Calvin Pryor: (3 tackles)

2014 1st round pick Calvin Pryor really came into his own and made a name for himself in his sophomore season. However, one issue he has always had is his inability to cover the big bad TE’s of the NFL. With 2 meetings against Rob Gronkowski a year, its an issue that really needs some resolving. Darrelle Revis and company held Jeremy Maclin and Chris Conley to sub-50 yard games, but Pryor allowed Chief TE Travis Kelce to go 6-89-1 on 7 targets. Kelce is a class below Rob Gronkowski, so Calvin Pryor and the Jets have to figure something out before their week 11 showdown with New England. Calvin knows it, too.

 

Bonus Power Rankings:

QB’s I’d prefer over Ryan Fitzpatrick:

5. Johnny Moxon: No stranger to stepping into the starter role after the season starts, ‘Mox’ has the arm strength and winning mentality to take a team to the top. Also, if he ran the hook and latter with Nick Mangold that would be spectacular.

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4. Matt Saracen: Another plug and play guy that came into the QB1 position in the middle of the season. While he won’t light up the stats he’s a proven winner who likes to dump it down to Tim Riggins (Matt Forte) and is sneaky athletic. Just keep him away from coach’s daughter.

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3. Willie Beamen: A young, dual-threat QB that literally leaves his guts on the field. Minor character concerns off the field but would flourish with the Jets weapons.

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2. Ronnie Bass: Lefty ‘Sunshine’ Bass came into T.C. Williams as a transfer and helped¬†lead a divided and segregated team to a state championship. Not only is he an extraordinary talent (and he learned the read option), he is a great locker room guy and potential team captain.

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1.Vince Howard: Essentially ran a two man show with Luke Cafferty, and they defied all odds and upset their crosstown rivals, the West Dillon Panthers, in their final game of the season. Vince continued to defy odds and won the state championship in East Dillon’s 2nd year of existence. He’s a playmaker and a leader,¬†and his continued success against his rivals would be good news for beating those pesky New England Patriots.

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NFL Week Three Picks

Last week I went 4-1 against the spread (5-1 if you took the under in the Packers-Vikings game), bringing my season total to 7-2. At this rate I’ll be sipping Mai Tais in the Caribbean by Week 12.

Looking back at last week:

New York Jets (PK) @ Buffalo Bills WIN

San Francisco 49ers @ Carolina Panthers (-13.5) WIN

Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots (-6.5) WIN

Green Bay Packers (-2) @ Minnesota Vikings LOSS

Philadelphia Eagles (+3) @ Chicago Bears WIN

 

The Packers wildly underperformed on Sunday Night Football, bringing me my only loss of the week. It was reported on Saturday (after I made my selections) that star CB Sam Shields was out with a concussion. This prompted Stefon Diggs to have a career game, hauling in 9 passes for 182 yards and a touchdown. Green Bay also lost 2 key fumbles during the game, and despite all of that, the ball was in their hands at about midfield at the 2 minute warning, but Aaron Rodgers threw an interception to seal the deal.

But, excuses are like assholes; everyone has one and they are full of shit.

Onto this week’s picks.

Arizona Cardinals (-3.5) @ Buffalo Bills

Take everything I said regarding last week’s 49ers/Panthers game and completely wipe it from your memory. The Buffalo Bills are sitting in the exact same position that the Carolina Panthers were last week. The Bills are coming off of a Thursday Night Football loss, have had 3 more days of rest, and they hosting a West Coast team during the 1:00 ET slot. The main contributing factor to me not liking this game for the Bills at home is the health of Sammy Watkins. Rex Ryan has a history of being deceitful to the media to get a leg-up on the opponent, but there are also reports that somebody¬†stepped on his surgically repaired foot during practice. And even if he does play, I think he’ll primarily be a decoy, as he only went 2-20-0 against a much lesser Jets secondary. The idea of Patrick Peterson and Tryann Mathieu covering the likes of Marquise Goodwin and Greg Salas must be sending shivers down new Offensive Coordinator Anthony Lynn’s spine. If the Cardinals front 7 contains Shady McCoy and keeps Tyrod Taylor in the pocket, I think there is absolutely no way the Cardinals win by less than a touchdown.

In case you needed any more convincing, the Cardinals have been fantastic in the passing game this year, and they haven’t even been utilizing playmaker John Brown yet (2-22-0 on the year). Brown suffered another concussion this preseason so the Cardinals are wisely easing him back into the game. David Johnson has been great catching passes out of the backfield, and Larry Fitzgerald might actually be the real life Benjamin Button. The Cardinals receivers of Fitz, Michael Floyd, John Brown, and DJ out of the backfield rival the weapons that the New York Jets have with Marshall, Decker, Enunwa, and Forte. Those Jets weapons just put up 497 yards against the Bills, and I like the Cardinals to break that 500 threshold.

Denver Broncos (+3) @ Cincinnati Bengals

Call this the CJ Anderson show. Last week, the Bengals gave up 94 rushing yards to DeAngelo Williams as well as 4-38-1 receiving. The week before, the Bengals gave up 96 rushing yards to Matt Forte as well as 5-59-0 receiving. CJ Anderson has averaged 116 yards from scrimmage per game, and has scored¬†3 out of the 4 offensive touchdowns that the Broncos have scored this season. The Bengals’ bread and butter is their secondary, as they’ve given up a mere 224 yards per game through the air, and have come down with 3 interceptions. Unfortunately for them, however, the Broncos offense run by Trevor Siemien relies on the running game and quick passes to his receivers. If a team stacks the box and forces Siemien to pass, he has two great receivers in Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas that can score any time the ball is in their hands.

One factor that I think is important to consider for this game is the availability of Tyler Eifert. It seems unlikely that he will play, which makes a one-dimensional Bengal team look half-dimensional. Basically, they’re going to throw the ball to AJ Green a lot. After burning Darrelle Revis and the Jets in Week 1, Green only put up a 2-38-0 stat line in their loss to the Steelers. However, he has seen 21 targets in 2 games.

With Von Miller and Derek Wolfe applying pressure and stopping the run game, the Bengals will try to air it out to AJ Green or dump it down to RB Gio Bernard. Unfortunately for them, Green will be covered by Aqib Talib and Chris Harris Jr, two of the best corners in the game. I’d expect Gio to catch a lot of passes, with the Broncos missing LB DeMarcus Ware for at least 3 weeks.

Minnesota Vikings @ Carolina Panthers (-7)

I’m surprised to see the line at -7 for the Panthers at home against a Minnesota Vikings team that just lost Adrian Peterson for an extended period of time. The Panthers are coming off of a 19 point victory in which the Cam Newton to Kelvin Benjamin connection had shades of Joe Montana/Jerry Rice *ducks*. Not only is AP down for the Vikings, breakout candidate of the year Stefon Diggs sat out practice Friday with a groin injury.

While it doesn’t appear to be serious, and it seems that Diggs will play as many snaps or more as he did last week, that is not a good sign for a team that has already lost their starting QB and HB this season. Stefon Diggs and the Minnesota Vikings will be going up against a perennial Carolina Panthers secondary on the road that has 4 interceptions in 2 games. This game could get out of hand if Cam, Kelvin, and Greg Olsen come out of the gates hot.

Chicago Bears @ Dallas Cowboys (-7)

The Bears are in trouble. Not only did they get embarrassed on Monday Night Football by the Wentz Wagon, they had players dropping like flies on the field. Here’s a look at their injury report:

To put things into perspective, the Chicago Bears lost a game 29-14 in which they had¬†the majority of their starters in for half the game. With a healthy Jay Cutler, Lamar Houston, Danny Trevathan, Adrian Amos, and Eddie Goldman, the Bears looked awful against the rookie QB Carson Wentz and the Philadephia Eagles. Now a beaten up team filled with backups, led by Brian Hoyer at QB are going on the road to face another rookie QB in Dak Prescott, who is looking more and more comfortable each week. I can see Jason Witten taking advantage of the Bears’ lack of depth at LB, and the relentless Cowboys O-Line wearing out the Bears, allowing Ezekiel Elliot to have his first of many monstrous games in the NFL.

 

Well, there you have it. This is the week I go undefeated and we all cash in together. Call me Lil Wayne because we’re gonna make a milli in there.

Death, Taxes, Mets Breaking Your Heart

I never learn. I never ever ever ever ever ever ever learn. Every year I psyche myself out for opening day; I call the talk shows, I get tickets for the last home game against the Nationals, and I pray to the baseball Gods that they will stop punishing the New York Metropolitans. But EVERY single year I am kicked to the curb.

Whether it be getting embarrassed in the World Series against the Royals:

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Carlos Beltran striking out looking with the bases loaded to end the NLCS vs. the Cardinals:

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The worst signing of all time:

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4 of the best pitchers in the LEAGUE suffering season-ending injuries:

Or last night’s special, death by Ender Inciarte:

Watching the Mets is like watching the Titanic on repeat. You root and root for Jack and Rose to make it, but at the end of the day, the ship still sinks, Rose selfishly doesn’t let Jack on the plywood AND lets go. #TrustIssues.

Last night’s game started off great, just like the Titanic. Jack had 5 minutes to make it onto the boat, I had 5 minutes to heat up some leftovers and decide if I wanted to watch the game on the upstairs or downstairs couch. The game began, the boat started moving, and both onlookers cheered. While Jack caught the beautiful Rose on the back of the ship, I had the pleasure of catching Big Sexy on the television screen.

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Jack then rescued Rose from certain death on the stern of the boat, and Asdrubal Cabrera knocked a 391 foot 2-run HR that took me off the proverbial ledge, my friend. The Mets and Big Sexy continued to roll through the 5th, as Jack and Rose danced, drank, and stood at the very front of the boat. Jack proceeded to draw Rose like one of his French girls, and the rose of the Mets, Rene Rivera, proceeded to hit a solo HR farther than the distance traveled by the French Armada in 1779 (I tried). One of the breast best hits from Rivera this year.

Only the real ones got that reference.

Now right as the Mets were getting settled in and cozy, and Jack & Rose were singing baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Renault CB Coupe de Ville, BOOM!!!

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Titanic, meet iceberg. Bartolo Colon, meet Anthony Recker. 2-run home run. Like the Titanic, the Mets were still afloat, but there was that look of fear shared between those who knew. As water started to fill the boat, the Mets couldn’t fill a single base. Similar to Captain John Smith’s distress signal, I swiftly switched seats on the couch, but deep down I knew the fate that awaited me. I’ve seen this movie wayyyyyy too many times. Ironically it was an error by both First Baseman James Loney and lookout man Frederick Fleet that allowed their respective team to go down with the ship. I felt more captive than Jack handcuffed to the pole as Matt Kemp hit a sac fly to tie the game.

But, like the band that didn’t stop playing, I continued to watch in disarray as Ender Inciarte hit an RBI groundout to take the lead in the top of the 9th. People started abandoning ship, but to quote Jack, “we have to stay on the ship as long as possible.” But of course, the boat went down. However, there was a glimmer of hope. Rose had her plywood with Jack by her side, and the Mets had Yoenis Cespedes up with 2 on and 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th. I’ll never let go, Mets:

Ahhh, screw it.

The New York Mets, fighting for a Wild Card spot, drop 3 in a row at home to the Atlanta Braves. The last place, 30 games under .500 Atlanta Braves. That’s baseball, Suzyn.

Against all odds, the Mets remain tied with the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants for the Wild Card spots. Dare I say, their ability to stay in contention is an act of God?

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Anyways, long story short, if you’re ever in the mood for a 3 hour disaster, either The Titanic or the Mets game will do.

 

If only I had an Uncle Carl like Jimmy Fallon to warn me of the times to come:tumblr_m7ofjturoj1qautsto2_500

Everything You Missed From The NFL – Week 2

Week 2 is in the books, time to show you everything you missed. Hit it, Odell:

The rematch from last season’s 52-49 Saints victory which included 14 touchdowns did not ¬†nearly live up to expectations this week. There was only one offensive touchdown. Next week comes the highly anticipated return of the Odell-Josh Norman saga. In case you need a reminder, this is where it left off:

Ding, Ding. New Orleans Saints 13 @ New York Giants 16

Trevor Siemien (22-33 266, 0 TD 1 INT) had himself a decent day as he rode Von Miller (7 tackles, 3 sacks, 1 FF) and the Denver Defense’s coattails to victory. In what would have been Peyton’s best performance a year ago, Siemien truly channeled his inner Manning and dropped the infamous ‘OMAHA’ call at the line. That sent a shiver down the Indy D’s spine and the Broncos cruised to their 2nd straight victory.

Indianapolis Colts 20 @ Denver Broncos 34

Loser: Taunting

Let the kids play, stripes! I’m old enough to remember when the NFL was filled with characters such as Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco, Terrell Owens, and Randy Moss, and the only thing more electric than their performances on the field were their theatrics after a TD.

RIP in Peace, fun NFL.

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Loser: Being QB1 on the Browns

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Talk about a high turnover rate. RG3 lasted less than one game before going down with what is being reported as a “potentially serious shoulder injury.” Insert Josh McCown and he¬†follows suit,¬†going down with a left shoulder injury that could sideline him for up to 4 weeks. Now at the helm is rookie Cody Kessler, who must be loading up on the shoulder pads given this recent trend.

PS, is it almost time?

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UPDATE: One day, one day.

Loser: Oakland Raider’s D

The Oakland Raiders have given up¬†69 points in the first 2 weeks, as well as over 500 total yards in each game. Per Pro Football Reference, this Raiders team is the first team since the 1967 Atlanta Falcons to allow consecutive 500+ yard games to start the season. Led by Khalil Mack, Sean Smith, Bruce Irvin, and eventually Aldon Smith and Mario Edwards Jr, this was supposed to be a¬†formidable Raiders defense to help catapult Oakland into the playoff race. But instead, they’ve been getting dragged all over the field, and even Ice Cube has taken notice:

Atlanta Falcons 35 @ Oakland Raiders 28

Winner: Dual Threat QB Matthew Stafford

Tell a guy he has to throw passes to 36 year old Anquan Boldin instead of Calvin Johnson and he’s gonna take out his anger on unsuspecting DBs.¬†They call him Perish Cox for a reason because RIP in Peace.

As cool as the other side of the pillow:

Tennessee Titans 16 @ Detroit Lions 15

Winner: Stefon Diggs

Sam Bradford’s Minnesota Viking debut was a great success (s/o Borat) mainly due to a career game by Stefon Diggs. Adrian Peterson went down with a knee injury and despite the offense becoming one dimensional after the fact, Diggs continued to flourish, catching 9 out of 11 targets for 182 yards and an incredible¬†touchdown.

Green Bay Packers 14 @ Minnesota Vikings 17

Winner: The Master of Disguise

Former Patriot great and original Julian Edelman Wes Welker was all over the headlines this week as word spread that he was meeting up with old friend and teammate Tom Brady to have a catch. Fast forward a couple days and Welker reemerges donning a #FakeBrady shirt with a mask that would freak out even Jason Voorhees. This has been the biggest week for Wes Welker in the media since his Kentucky Derby extravaganza.

Hey Wes, people don’t forget:

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Week 5 cannot come fast enough for the Patriots, as Jimmy Garoppolo left the game in the 2nd quarter with a sprained AC joint. There is hope that he may be able to return as a backup this Thursday, but I would say that is unlikely. Jimmy G and his New England offense were rolling on all cylinders before his injury however, as he was driving down the field with a 21-0 lead. Now playing QB is Jacoby Brissett,¬†the 2016 3rd round pick. His college stats don’t jump off the page, but he did put together a 6-9 92 yard stat line in half of a game while conserving the lead. The¬†backup quarterback for Week 3 is someone who played QB at Kent State and famously made this play:

Miami Dolphins 24 @ New England Patriots 31

The NFL had another week jam-packed with fantastic catches and jaw dropping runs. Andre Johnson reminded everyone he was still in the league, Larry Fitzgerald continued to laugh at the doubters, and all 250 pounds of LeGarrette Blount straight up hurdled a man. The NFL never disappoints. Here’s Mossed & Sauced.

Mossed:

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Sauced:

 

It was a great week of football. Until next time, watch Jon Gruden assault Sean McDonough with a pool noodle.

NFL Week Two Picks

Last week I went 3-1 against the spread with my picks. I knew going against the Patriots on Sunday Night was ballsy and Bill Belichick made me pay for it.

To summarize last week:

Carolina Panthers @ Denver Broncos (+3) WIN

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+2.5) @ Atlanta Falcons WIN

Chicago Bears @ Houston Texans (-5) WIN

New England Patriots @ Arizona Cardinals (-7) LOSS

Batting .750 to start off the season. Lets get into this week.

 

Thursday Night Football

New York Jets PK @ Buffalo Billsscreen-shot-2016-09-16-at-12-06-28-am

The odds were stacked up against the Jets and the opening line was actually Buffalo -3. But then the reports of Sammy Watkins being a game time decision and starting LT Cordy Glenn¬†being out were made, and I knew the Jets could exploit those injuries. The defensive line is the Jets’ strongest part of the team, plus with the return of Sheldon Richardson, I knew they would wreak some havoc. On the other hand, the Jets secondary is probably their weakest part of the team, so the report of the Bills’ only true threat, Sammy Watkins playing at about 50% was yet another reason to feel comfortable with this selection. Once Ryan Fitzpatrick stopped fumbling the ball and throwing shovel passes on 3rd and 5, the Jets were flying while the Bills were floundering.

Sunday Games

San Francisco 49ers @ Carolina Panthers (-13.5)

This is my ballsy pick of the week. Taking the Panthers with a spread of -13.5 is college football-esk. On paper, this looks like a terrible bet, but I think this game could result in a 20+ point victory for Carolina. First, the Panthers are coming off of a Thursday Night Football loss but will have 10 days to rest and get healthy before their home opener. Meanwhile, the 49ers are coming off of a late Monday Night Football victory and will have to travel to the East Coast to play a 1 PM game. Historically, a West Coast team playing in the 1 PM time slot on the East Coast has not fared well at all. Since 2000, those teams have gone 56-121. Also, starting at Week 9 last year, the Panthers have won all of their home games by scores of 37-29, 44-16, 38-0, and 38-10. Despite being a lock for the playoffs, Ron Rivera and the Carolina Panthers continued to pour on the points against lesser teams to give the fans a good show. I think they hop out in front early and never look back.

The 49ers beat a guy by the name of Case Keenum, who is and will forever be known as the QB who was dragged around lifelessly after sustaining a hit and then remaining in the game. Not only will the Niners be stacked up against a much better offensive and defensive team, veteran RG Anthony Davis is out with a concussion. That Carolina front 7 must be salivating at the thought of busting up that mediocre 49er line.

Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots (-6.5)

I learned the hard way last week to not bet against Bill Belichick and his Patriots. Despite all of the injuries, suspensions, and inexperienced players starting, the Patriots stunned the Cardinals and came home with a W. Now they come back home to an amped up crowd in Foxborough who can see 4-0 without Tom Brady not too far away.

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The Dolphins are coming off of a game where they let victory slip right out of their hands.

Not only did that drop leave 6 points on the field, the Seahawks drove down the field and scored with 47 seconds left to take a 12-10 lead. Bill Belichick is using the Patriots’ Week 17 loss to the Dolphins last year as¬†extra incentive to bring it on Sunday. Put the rent on the Pats.

Tom Brady Update:

He has cut Gisele from his 2 person roster and made a groundbreaking pickup in Wes Welker:

Think they’ll recreate this play, for ole time’s sake?

Green Bay Packers (-2) @ Minnesota Vikings

In what is looking like Sam Bradford’s debut for the Minnesota Vikings, he will be taking on the Green Bay Packers. That means that Bradford will have had about 14 days to learn the Vikings offense against a Packers defense that held Blake Bortles to only the 17th best QB in Fantasy despite 42 drop backs, as well as only allowing 48 yards on the ground. Bradford will most likely be a ‘game manager,’ by throwing quick outs and slants to Stefon Diggs and Kyle Rudloph, while Adrian Peterson gets the bulk of the workload. Without two funky plays that resulted in defensive touchdowns for the Vikings in Week 1 against the Titans, their defense wasn’t particularly spectacular and I think that the Packers simply have too many options for the Vikings to keep under control. I’d think about the under as well at 43.5, as the Vikings will probably try to kill as much clock as possible by running the ball and keeping the ball out of Aaron Rodgers’ hands.

Monday Night Football

Philadelphia Eagles (+3) @ Chicago Bears

All aboard the Wentz Wagon.

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Carson Wentz led the Eagles to a 29-10 victory against the Cleveland Browns and are now matched up on MNF with a Chicago Bears team that lost 23-14 to the Houston Texans. Wentz and the Eagles looked good last Sunday, with Wentz hitting both Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor for some nice long touchdowns. In that game, however, Zach Ertz got hurt and will most likely miss this game. Fortunately for the Eagles, the Bear¬†secondary allowed rookie Will Fuller V and DeAndre Hopkins to both score touchdowns and basically run free¬†all of last week, so the same result may be in the cards this week. With the loss of Zach Ertz should emerge Brent Celek, and Mr. Primetime himself, Darren Sproles. In nationally televised games, Darren Sproles has historically upped his game and has developed a reputation for his excellence ever since he was on the Saints. I think that Alshon Jeffery will have a great game for the Bears and give the Eagles 10 times the headache that Corey Coleman and Terrelle Pryor did last week. However, ¬†I don’t trust Jay Cutler’s ability to put together 4 quarters of solid football, he usually squanders it after about 2. A couple turnovers by him and clean football for the Eagles, and I think Philly takes it in a shootout.

That’s all for this week.¬†I’m giving out free money like I’m Pablo Escobar in these streets.

 

 

P.S. Yeezy’s ain’t dead.

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Friday Morning Quarterback: Wearing White After Labor Day

Thursday Night Football!!

You know what that means:

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Color Rush baby. After an outcry of a suddenly enormous crowd of colorblind NFL fans,the Jets donned an all white uniform against the blooded out Bills in the weekly edition of “oh shit I didn’t set my lineup yet.” Throughout the week there was talk about Darrelle Revis’ decline, Sammy Watkins’ health, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s 1-8 career record against teams coached by Rex Ryan, and yet another “Must Win” game according to the experts.

First Trent Dilfer, now Jeff Saturday, who’s next!? I bet somebody on ESPN pegs next week’s game against the Chiefs as a must win as well

In other news, Darrelle Revis got burnt AGAIN this week, this time by Marquise Goodwin, who has caught 3 receptions for 66 yards over the past two seasons, for a 84 yard touchdown.

The good news is that the Jets are reading these posts and decided to put Revis against the #2 receiver on the Bills. The bad news is that even the #2 receiver on the Bills is still burning Revis easier than Bear Grylls in the wilderness.

Sammy Watkins was battling an ailing foot injury and was only able to pull down 2 receptions for 20 yards. In the Bills Week 17 victory against the Jets last season he had 11 receptions for 136 yards, so the Jets (and the exploitable Darrelle Revis) were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Nevertheless, former Jet Greg Salas continued to have success against the Jets and only the Jets, scoring his first career receiving touchdown on a broken play. Talk about flipping out. 130 of Greg Salas’ 615 career receiving yards have come against the Jets, good for over 21% of his career yardage.

Ryan Fitzmagic threw for 374 yards, the 2nd most in his New York Jets career. Both Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker cashed in 100+ receiving yards, and Matt Forte ran for 100 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Jets defensive line, coming off 7 sacks against the Bengals last week, didn’t record any this week, but held LeSean McCoy to 59 yards on 15 carries. You know what this means; the Jets have ‘Big Threes’ on both sides of the ball.

First off, with all the attention going to Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker, Quincy Enunwa Business is quietly becoming the most reliable target on the Jets.

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Second off, the Jets defensive line held an offense without any healthy receivers to 86 team rushing yards. Defensive coordinators must see this image in their nightmares:

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Beast Mo, Richardson, and Leonard Williams, sitting in a tree, R-I-P TO THE Q-BS.

Get your petty shit outta here, Bills:

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Labor Day was September 5th, correct? Tell me more about your game against the Ravens on September 11th ¬†ūü§Ēūü§Ēūü§Ē.

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The Bills should stick to putting out their dumpster fire of a franchise before trying to ignite a rivalry with a much better team.

 

On to the Awards:

The GOAT:

Eric Decker (6-126-1)

Eric Decker was a sure-handed, go-to target for Ryan Fitzpatrick all game. He scored on a 5 yard slant to make it 20-7 with 4 minutes to go in the 2nd quarter. It was his 6th consecutive game with a touchdown, which is the longest active streak in the NFL. Not only did  Decker continue his touchdown streak, a slew of things went in his favor for him to win GOAT of the game. First, he taught a fan that continuous head trauma may be a strong factor in developing CTE:

Second, his smokeshow country singer wife was aggressively rooting for him from home, sharing some info that any man would love to have out there:

Honorable GOATS:

Matt Forte: (30-100-3 rushing, 2-9-0 receiving)¬†Had Jessie Decker not bragged about her husband’s girth, Matt Forte 100% would’ve taken the cake this week. Although only averaging 3.3 yards per carry, Forte posted only the 3rd 100 yard game from a running back in the NFL so far this season. He took 30 out of the 36 team carries and has emerged as the workhorse for this Jets team. His age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down one bit and with the offense starting to roll on all cylinders, the sky is the limit for him.

Quincy Enunwa: (6-92-0) Enunwa showed the doubters that his Week 1 stat line was no fluke. He was bodying corners when he was positioned outside and he outran linebackers when he was brought inside. Quincy Enunwa is going to continue being a matchup problem for teams and I think he will contribute in a big way for the remainder of the season.

Marcus Williams: (4 tackles, 3 solo, 2 passes defended, 1 interception) Marcus Williams caught his 2nd interception in as many games, and his 8th in his past 15 games. While Darrelle Revis has shown signs of regression, Marcus Williams has shown great signs of becoming the next best corner in New York.

The WOAT:

Darrelle Revis: (3 tackles) I hate to pick on the same guys every week but maybe the same guys should perform better every week so I don’t have to pick on them. Revis looked better overall but he was going up against a 50% Sammy Watkins and guys by the name of Marquise Goodwin and Greg Salas. The bad news is, even Marquise Goodwin scored on Darrelle Revis. I’m gonna leave it to Drake:

Dishonorable WOATS:

Brandon Marshall: (6-101-0 9 targets) Yes, that is a good stat line. However, Marshall had yet another terrible drop and absolutely dogged a route on Decker’s touchdown. Had the Jets not won, I think Marshall would be scrutinized yet again. Yes, he overcame what looked like a potential season-ending knee injury early in the game and came back, but his effort and stats are a sham considering what he could have done tonight.

Example #1: 2nd week in a row with a 25+ yard drop.

Example #2: ???????

At least this worked out in the Jets favor. But so many things could’ve happened on this play. Had Decker been jammed at the line or caught up in traffic there was nobody else Fitzpatrick could’ve thrown to. Marshall could’ve ran a backside drag, a double move to the inside, the same slant route as Decker, but instead, he took one step off the line and watched the play. I’m sure this was a designed play to exploit Decker’s matchup, but you have to run some kind of route on the other side of the field just in case the defense picks something up.

At least the WOATs have eachother’s backs:

 

That’s all for the Jets roundup this week.¬†Up next are the Kansas City Chiefs at 1:25 on Sunday the 25th. Lets get some World Series revenge.

Until then, watch this video with Joe Namath & Jim Kelly. Pretty funny stuff from the old geezers.

DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

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The Mets lost their 3rd game in a row and fell to 2 games below .500 since they were 4-6 on April 16th. They were in 3rd place in the NL East, and 5th place in the Wild Card race, 5.5 games behind the 2nd spot. To add insult to injury, they lost Neil Walker just 4 days later for the rest of the season, while he was hitting .389 during the month of August. All signs were pointing towards a disappointing 2016 as the Mets started calling up minor league players and resting their stars.

Then came August 20th. Big Sexy pitched a 6 inning 2 run gym backed by 2 Yo Bombs, and the Mets won 9-5. Since that 8-1 loss, the Mets have gone 16-6, moved up to 2nd in the NL East, and now are sitting in the final Wild Card spot with 17 games to go. 17 games are a whole lot of games to play, but this is who the Mets have left on their schedule:

1 @ Washington (.593)

3 vs. Minnesota (.372)

3 vs. Atlanta (.386)

3 vs. Philadelphia (.441)

3 @ Miami (.497)

3 @ Philadelphia (.441)

All but 1 out of the remaining 17 games are against sub .500 teams, with a combined win percentage of (.412), which is by far the easiest strength of schedule out of the teams fighting for a Wild Card berth. Now the critics will say that the National League Champions barely sneaking into the playoffs the year after is an embarrassment, especially when Sports Illustrated and a large majority of sports writers in America believed that the Mets were the team to beat. I normally would agree with that, but look at how hard the injury bug has hit the Mets at this point in the season:

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The Mets Opening Day 1st Baseman, 2nd Baseman, 3rd Baseman, Centerfielder, and Pitcher are all on the Disabled List. #4 Starter Steven Matz has been injured sporadically as well and Zack Wheeler has spent the entire year on the DL. Even two players the Mets acquired during the season, CF Justin Ruggiano and Jonathon Niese are hurt.

Look at the lineup the Mets trotted out today opposed to opening day in Kansas City:

April 3 2016 @ Kansas City:                     September 13, 2016 @ Washington:

Granderson RF                                                Reyes 3B

Wright 3B                                                          Cabrera SS

Cespedes LF                                                     Cespedes LF

Duda 1B                                                             Granderson CF

Walker 2B                                                         Bruce RF

Conforto DH                                                    T.J. Rivera 2B

Cabrera SS                                                        Loney 1B

d’Arnaud C ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Rene Rivera C

Lagares CF                                                        Syndergaard P

Harvey P

 

The Mets have three position players in the lineup that started in the first game of the year. THREE! The most hyped up Mets team since the 1980’s are starting two players named Rivera that almost no fans knew who they were in a meaningful September game. Which bodes the question:

Sure, Mariano Rivera saved 652 games for the Yankees in 1115 games played, but T.J. Rivera just saved his 1st game in only his 17th career game. It took Mariano 34 appearances for him to finally record his first save.

For reference:

Hopefully I didn’t just blow up your ears. T.J. Rivera came to play tonight, going 3-4 with 3 RBIs, including the go-ahead HR in the top of the 10th inning to win the kind of game I’ve seen the Mets blow so many times (looking at you Armando Benitez and Braden Looper.) Despite that atrocity that was the bottom of the 9th inning, the Mets were rolling on all cylinders. Noah Syndergaard found his mojo¬†and coasted through 7 innings, only giving up 4 hits while striking out 10 on 99 pitches. Noah reached the 200 strikeout plateau in the 5th, which was his 171st and 1/3 inning on the year, good for the 2nd fastest rate in Mets history, only trailing Doc Gooden (165 and 2/3 innings.) He has a 1.06 ERA in his last five starts, and he is heating up at the most crucial¬†time of the year.

The good news for the Mets is that tomorrow will be the last time they have to face Daniel Murphy until the NLCS (cocky, I know.) Murphy has been playing so insanely well against the Mets that even Chipper Jones is like:

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And yet, despite all of his success against the Mets this year, Murphy couldn’t get it done with a runner on in the bottom of the 10th. Jerry Blevins came in to get the last out and his first save since September 11th of 2012.

The Mets are BACK baby. Until next time.

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What You Missed – NFL Week 1

It feels good to be back. The toughest part about the NFL Week is having to go cold turkey for 3 days after pure bliss for 36 hours. However, it is easy to miss important and fun plays/games/events over the span of 16 games, so I am here to help.

First and foremost, lets get that gross taste of the Rams-49ers MNF game out of our mouths and listen to the most electric moment of the game, brought to you by a goofball in a hat and a red shirt featuring Kevin Harlan:

That feeling when a fan on the field has more yards than your entire offense:

The Los Angeles¬†St. Louis¬†¬†Los Angeles¬†Rams laid a fat egg in the national spotlight on Monday Night Football while the San Francisco 49ers, led by household names such as¬†Blaine Gabbert, Jeremy Kerley and Vance McDonald were rolling on all cylinders. The LA Rams came into this season with high expectations for several reasons; the highly publicized move to the West Coast, being on Hard Knocks, having the #1 pick of the draft in QB Jared Goff, having the returning NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year in Todd Gurley, as well as boasting ‘the best front 7 in football.’ Wellllll, Jared Goff was inactive, Todd Gurley averaged 2.8 yards per carry and caught a pass for -5 yards, and star DT Aaron Donald was ejected for making contact with an official. Not a great first act¬†for Hollywood’s new team. Final Score: Rams 0 @¬†San Francisco 28.

In the better Monday Night Football game, it was the Antonio Brown and DeAngelo Williams show for the Steelers. With both Le’Veon Bell and Martavis Bryant suspended, Heath Miller retired, and Markus Wheaton injured, it was no secret who the Steelers would be forcing the ball to. DeAngelo ended the game with 26-143-2 on the ground and 6-28-0 in the air, leading all NFL players in rushing yards at age 33. Antonio Brown, taking advantage of the Redskins’ decision to keep $75 million All-Pro corner Josh Norman on the right side of the field put on a show, producing a stat line of 8-126-2 on 11 targets. Luckily for us, Brown brought his talents from Dancing With The Stars onto the field and even paid to show them off:

Final Score: Steelers 38 @ Redskins 16

Loser: Clock Management

12 seconds left in the game, on the Giants 42 yard line, down 1 point, and veteran receiver Terrence Williams turns back towards the field to gain an extra couple yards instead of going out of bounds to stop the clock. Tick tick tick, Cowboys can’t spike the ball in time and they lost by 1 point within potential field goal range. You can’t be making that mistake in your 4th season in the league.

Final Score: Giants 21 @ Cowboys 20

Loser: Being Too Open

Kenny Stills a la Ted Ginn Jr. a la Greg Little. I was guilty of this too once or twice in my day. Sometimes you are so open that you start to wonder why you are so open and you focus on that mystery until its too late and the ball is on the ground. What hurts is that had Stills hauled that in, that’s probably a statement W for the Dolphins.

Final Score: Miami Dolphins 10 @ Seattle Seahawks 12

Winner: Jack Del Rio’s Balls

Jack Del Rio’s Oakland Raiders were down 7 points to the New Orleans Saints and were 10 yards out with 47 yards to go. Derek Carr then hit Seth Roberts over the middle for a touchdown and instead of taking the conventional route and kicking the PAT to tie the game, the Oakland offense didn’t bat an eye and set up to go for 2. The rest was history:

And as a result of the Oakland victory, we have an early candidate for tweet of the year:

Final Score: Oakland Raiders 35 @ New Orleans Saints 34

Winner: Brotherly Love

You see they call Philadelphia the City of Brotherly Love for a reason. The Carson Wentz era in Philly started a little earlier than most people predicted, but he looked poised and confident back there, posting a 101.0 passer rating while throwing 2 beautiful TDs to Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor. And on top of that, the Eagles had Jason Peters just catching Ryan Mathews after his carries to preserve him for the rest of the season. Surprised that wasn’t called holding (lap taken).

Joke Power Rankings:

5. Holding on the Offense, Number 71.

4. Finally, an Eagle made a catch in the red zone.

3. Talk about carrying a team.

2. Jason Peters, what a stand up guy.

1. Caught a body ’bout a week ago.

Final Score: Cleveland Browns 10 @ Philadelphia Eagles 29

The big news out of Browns camp is that Robert Griffin III has been placed on Injured Reserve after just one game. Its unfortunate, but this is a next man up league. Luckily for the Dawg Pound, this guy is next in line:

We’re a couple of ¬†weeks away from Terrelle Pryor and the revival of Johnny Manziel rumors and I can’t waittttttt.

 

Finally, I am introducing a segment called Mossed & Sauced. Basically to qualify for Mossed & Sauced you either have to make a ridiculous catch over a defender a la Randy Moss or make a ridiculous move on the ground a la something Cam Newton said about sauciness. Here are my favorites:

 

Mossed:

 

Sauced:

Monday Morning Quarterback – Let it Fuckin’ Rip, Man

This will a weekly segment where I will look back at the previous Jets game and give my 2 cents that nobody asked for.

(Sidenote – this may be renamed to just ‘Let it Fuckin’ Rip, Man’)

Coming into the game as a 2.5 point underdog I had my doubts: did Fitzpatrick get enough reps this preseason? How will the D-Line fare without Sheldon Richardson? Does Matt Forte have anything left in the tank? Who will start at RT and will they be reliable?

Then we had Trent Dilfer saying right in our faces that this perennial week 1 matchup was a “must-win” for Gang Green.

Our boy Randy Moss shot him with this look that left me dying.

“Imma let you finish but that was one of the worst takes of all time.”

Anyways, with all of the question marks leading into the game, I never in a million years would’ve guessed that the questions that needed to be addressed the most involved some of the faces of the Jets franchise. Revis Island was looking like a 5 star tourist attraction, Brandon Marshall was dropping passes like a 2004 Snoop Dogg video and Nick are you Folking kidding me missed an extra point and a chip shot field goal that probably would’ve sealed the game. In retrospect, the 54 yard touchdown Revis let up to AJ Green was more on the safety than himself, but even without the TD Green would’ve posted a 11 reception 126 yard day. I’ve been fearing that this day would come but father time is undefeated. Revis simply isn’t the same All-Pro corner he used to be and the Jets need to realize that before more teams capitalize on this and have so much success through the air.

With Tyler Eifert out, Mohamed Sanu on the Falcons, and Marvin Jones on the Lions, the game plan should’ve been to blanket AJ Green across the field and let lesser receivers such as Brandon Lafell, Tyler Boyd, and CJ Uzomah¬†try to beat you. I guess that wasn’t what the coaches drew up for this game.

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You can’t even try to spin that into a positive; Darrelle Revis got worked on Sunday. At least AJ Green was humble after the fact:

There have been rumors that the Jets coaching staff may test out Revis at Safety, which Todd Bowles has repeatedly dismissed. Perhaps they will take Revis off of the #1 receiver, put him up against #2, and have a Buster Skrine cover the #1 with Marcus Williams over top essentially doubling the opposition’s #1 guy. Just a thought.

As for Nick Folk, you can thank Jim Nantz for being an absolute mush on the air.¬†Jim Nantz ripped an absurd statistic saying that Nick Folk had made all 26 attempts at MetLife Stadium in September in his career. Fast forward 15 seconds and boom, kick blocked. No more than a half hour later after the Eric Decker touchdown, Nantz mentions that Folk has¬†made all 312 extra point attempts in his career. Sure enough, he shanks it into the Atlantic Ocean. Nick Folk has been so good historically that it’s hard to get on him for one bad game, but what the Folk man.

The Jets have a tough road ahead, with games @ Buffalo, @ Kansas City, vs. Seattle, @ Pittsburgh, @ Arizona and vs. Baltimore before catching a game at Cleveland. Hopefully the Jets can build on some of their performances while cutting down the sloppy plays and mental mistakes moving forward, or else this could be a long season.

Now onto the awards:

THE GOAT:

Steve McLendon (5 tackles, 2 sacks, 3 tackles for a loss)

With Snacks Harrison going to the Giants, another question for the Jets was who could step in as Defensive Tackle and keep that Jets D-Line as one of the most formidable in the league. Steve McLendon left little doubt in anybody’s mind as he continuously was disrupting plays in the backfield, collecting as many sacks on Sunday as he had the previous 3 years COMBINED for the Steelers.

Honorable GOATs:

The whole Jets D-Line (6 sacks, 7 TFL, 9 QB hits) (And this was without Sheldon Richardson.) Also only allowed 57 rushing yards.

Matt Forte (22-96-0 rushing, 5-59-0 receiving) Yeah, he’s still got a little something something left in the tank.

Quincy Enunwa (7-54-1) Who needs a Tight End?

THE WOAT:

Brandon Marshall (3-32-0, 8 targets)

Not the start to the season B Marsh needs if he wants to keep his Porsche. On top of a pedestrian stat line, he had a terrible 25 yard drop on the Jets final drive that could’ve been the catalyst for a last minute comeback. ¬†All offseason Brandon Marshall was boasting about how he was in the best shape of his life, he was meaner, leaner, quicker, and was posting pictures of his meals hashtagging #ToddBowlesDiet. He went as far as offering to throw down pink slips 2 Fast 2 Furious style with Antonio Brown to see who will record more receiving yards this season. Considering Brown is 1. amazing and 2. the only feasible weapon the Steelers have for at least 3 weeks, this competition may be over before it even gets started.

@ab I've never seen you back down from a challenge. #race4pinks

A post shared by Brandon Marshall (@bmarshall) on

Dishonorable WOATs:

Darrelle Revis (7 tackles)

Nick Folk (3/4 FG, 1/2 XP)

 

That’s all for this week. Hopefully Thursday night will bring joy to us all. Until then, just let it fuckin’ rip, man.

 

 

P.S. Watching this hit on repeat makes everything feel a little bit better.